BY DOCTOR STOP IT
My Dear People,
Imagine a world where Launchmore is not able to launch anything.
Where he won’t be able to launch anything from Zupco buses to boreholes and even WhatsApp groups.
That’s all he does and that’s what he thinks his job is.
So if he is not able to launch anything then he literally has nothing to do.
That’s what happened last week when Launchmore announced that banks will not be able to lend.
The core business of banking is lending and if banks are not able to lend, then they literally have nothing to do.
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When Launchmore was sneakily marketing himself behind Baba’s back, he promised that he would be friendly to business.
But four years into his term, it is clear that he does not have a grasp on economics and financial issues.
In Mthuli he was supposed to have brought in a technocrat, but the guy looks extraordinarily out of his depth.
Mthuli failed to run a bank and expecting him to run an economy is expecting too much of him.
The less said about Panonetsa the better.
What is clear is that the experiment has failed. Going after banks is akin to treating symptoms rather than the ailment.
The government borrowed too much and printed so much money in an effort to finance roads and other infrastructure development and this could be the reason for the depreciation of the Zimbabwe dollar.
Another country that banned banks from lending was Ethiopia.
A few weeks after that harebrained idea, they changed course and realised banning banks from lending was making things only worse.
The government has started to make concessions on lending and in a few days or weeks they will silently allow banks to start lending again as they will realise the folly of that ban.
It’s literally what they did with public transport.
They created a monopoly and this made things quite terrible for passengers.
It did take a while, but the government finally realised the folly of that policy.
Launchmore visited a school where he got the opportunity to address the pupils.
The simple thing was to encourage the pupils to stay in school and pass their examinations.
But Launchmore thought he could take it a notch higher by telling the pupils to be engineers – so far so good.
And then he told the pupils that they should learn to fly helicopters and bomb enemies.
Honestly, he could have told them to be engineers so they design cars and bridges, come up with innovative things like trains, software or anything for that matter.
But not Launchmore, he told the pupils to think about killing people.
Those pupils must be traumatised to this day.
It beggars belief that all that Launchmore thought of was shooting and killing enemies.
A few days after World Press Freedom Day, the police were at it arresting two journalists – Chengeto Chidi and Blessed Mhlanga.
The two were arrested allegedly for taking pictures within 60m from a polling station.
Well, video evidence has emerged showing they were nowhere near a polling station.
Surely, we cannot have a reputation of being a country that detains journalists for the flimsiest of charges.
Chidi and Mhlanga did not have to spend a night in prison and should not have spent so much time with the police, but some wise alec thought detaining the pair was a good idea.
The government and Zanu PF may seek to distance themselves from the arrest by saying that arresting journalists is not their policy, but the fact that they did not intervene over the two days that the two journalists spent in custody implies that they are complicit.
Anything they say after that is literally gaslighting us.
Rihanna has announced that her beauty products will be launched in Zimbabwe sometime this month.
I can imagine Launchmore, the Generari and a few others on the airport tarmac waiting to receive the first batch of make-up.
In tow will be a bunch of Zanu PF supporters gyrating and celebrating that Fenty is finally here, even if they won’t be able to afford the product.
Launchmore will then go on the podium and say this is a victory for him and his policies are beginning to bear fruit.
The Zanu PF supporters will cheer feverishly.
Rihanna will be feted as a hero and her music will soon be played non-stop on Jive TV and ZBC.
Yep, this is what we have been reduced to as a country.
Anyway, I don’t care about Fenty, it’s cheaper than the products I use.
Yaaaaaawn!
Munopenga!!
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake.
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